[Trigger Warning: 99% Satire, 1% Truth]
Do you wake up every morning and check Facebook to see what you should be outraged about today? If so, then the Fantasy Wokeness League is for you. You draft your lineup of social justice issues and each week your team is awarded points based on how those issues perform in social media.
This was a great week for teams that picked “Advancement of Women” for their starting lineup. Those teams scored 10 points for each women’s organization who proudly supported Amy Coney Barrett for reaching one of the most respected offices in the land. Then those teams scored an additional 20 points for each organization that was forced to renounce their support because Justice Barrett believes life begins at conception.
It was also a good week for “Womxn’s Rights” as Tampax announces “Not all people with periods are women.” Tampax then scored a special hypocrisy bonus for continuing to state that they sell, “Feminine Hygiene Products,” simultaneously alienating both masculine women and men who menstruate.
Black Lives Matter hasn’t been producing as well in PPP (Points Per Post) leagues after it was announced that their continuing violence isn’t polling well for the Left. This caused a drop in the number of posts praising their violence filled peaceful protests.
“Verbal Micro Aggression” is always a reliable choice, scoring points every time the Left weaponizes common phrases such as “sexual preference.”
Turn your hatred into actual cash through our sponsored Wokeness leagues!