In an announcement that surprised absolutely no one, today CNN indicated that they are already working on a Presidential candidate to elect in 2024. A spokesperson explained, “2020 was just a warm up for us. Studies have shown that by failing to cover stories about Biden’s corruption charges, sexual assault charges, and obvious cognitive decline we have successfully swayed the election. Add to that non-stop hate coverage of Trump and refusal to cover accomplishments like his historic Middle East peace treaties and we have a powerful weapon against democracy. We have the ability to completely set everyone’s perception of whatever candidate we like or dislike. Democracy is too valuable to be entrusted to the citizens.”