Dr. Anthony “Thanos” Fauci, already infamous for his bold “I am science” statement, today made the claim: “I am inevitable,” completing his transformation from dictator to Marvel super-villain. Fauci, who had previously obtained the power stone, the reality stone, the mind stone, the science stone, and the profit stone, announced today that he acquired the public opinion stone. As terrified reporters watched, Anthanos placed the final stone in the infinity gauntlet, snapped his finger, and caused 800,000 Americans to die from his failed attempts to manage COVID. When asked why his snap didn’t kill half of all Americans, Fauci gave one of his trademark Thanos grins and said, “Just wait.”