Rumors of Republican Immigrants Spur Wall Construction
Rumors that some migrants crossing the border might be voting Republican have caused President Biden to increase his efforts to build a wall at America’s […]
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President Biden Issues Executive Order Shutting Down the Colonial Pipeline
Now that the Colonial Pipeline is getting back up to full speed President Biden has signed an executive order shutting it down. Biden explained, “Now […]
Mathematicians Issue Dire Warning About Court Packing
Mathematicians are warning about the numerical implications of court packing. One mathematician explains, “If the Biden administration adds four Justices, the next Republican administration will […]
Trans Activists Suggest All Children Be Given Hormone Suppressing Drugs Until They Can Decide Their Own Gender
Taking the clearly scientific position that puberty is a disease, trans activists are now calling for hormone suppressing drugs to be given to all children […]
Biden Set To Appoint Mao Zedong Jr. as “Minister of Justice”
As part of his “Refill the Swamp” campaign, Biden announced that he will be appointing Mao Zedong Jr. as “Minister of Justice.” On hearing the […]
Biden Signs Executive Order to Deport all Republicans
In his ongoing efforts to unite a divided nation, President Biden signs an executive order to deport all Republicans and give their property to illegal […]
Biden To Withdraw US from all Nuclear Accords so long as Everyone “Promises To Behave Themselves”
Biden announced a plan to withdraw the US from all nuclear accords so long as everyone “promises to behave themselves.” Biden elaborated, “The self-policing of […]
White House: US Doesn’t Actually Share Border with Mexico
Today the White House announced the results of its study on the immigration situation. Psaki explained, “After exhaustively studying the southern United States from 35,000 […]
Congress Opened with Prayer Tailored To Honor Everyone Except the God to Whom They Should Have Been Praying
Congress opened the new Congressional session with a politically correct but theologically uneducated prayer to God, Brahma, and, apparently any other monotheistic deity who wanted […]
Trump Is “The Big Guy” in Hunter’s Crooked Business, Independent Study Reveals
Joe Biden’s entirely independent investigation into Hunter’s lucrative snake oil business reveals that President Trump is “The Big Guy” who is referred to throughout Hunter […]